Ok, 2 daughters have now left me and one more to go! Chelsea just left on a plane to go to Utah this morning. Her orientation starts this afternoon at BYU and since Amy and Spencer are all settled, Amy is picking her up at the airport and playing "mom" for me. The rest of us are leaving on Thursday night to take Julie and all the girls stuff up. We didn't want to leave before my niece, Aubree's wedding, (yesterday) and so we decided to fly her up early, then, since it's Labor day weekend, we decided to take everyone with us. (I know we're crazy!) We all miss Hayden, Amy & Spencer so much, we thought everyone should get to go. In fact we're driving both girls cars and our Tahoe so there is so much room we're taking Sharon and Christian Schiefer along so they can see the kids too! Steve and the kids are driving back Monday and Sharon and I will stay a few days longer to help get Julie & Chelsea settled. Julie is the last of my girls to move to Utah. She just finished massage therapy school and wants to work at a spa in Utah valley so she can be close to her sisters and still move out of the house. She's been looking forward to this for so long and will be rooming with one of her cousins (Annie) on the Mooney side of the family. Julie is an awesome massage therapist, she really has magic hands! I'm really glad all my girls will be close, so I can visit them all together.
And now for the whining:)...
I still can't believe more than half of my family (son-in-law and grandson included) will be living in another state! SO NOT FAIR! I will miss them terribly but I'm also so excited for all of their adventures. (Not that Provo, Utah is all that exciting, but living anywhere away from home is exciting). Believe me, I know that life's not fair and I say that to my kids all the time, but this is different. I'm just not sure I'm ready for this change. When your a mom and that's your job description, you can't help but feel a little sad and out of control when your job changes.
Your kids put you on one heck of a wild roller coaster ride from day one! You start out way too young with a somewhat decent metabolism, a normal amount of energy, no wrinkles and all kinds of "pie in the sky" ideals. Then, as soon as you feel that little person move inside you, you're basically hooked, you're in love and committed to him or her. You do everything you can to make their life what you think it should be. ('course we all know how much control we have over that!:) You age more than a normal person, then, they just up and leave you!
My mother always said that, "you raise your kids to be independent so when they leave the house, you're glad, because that's what you've trained them for." Well, I, am SO not my mom! This is the same woman who thinks that natural childbirth is euphoric and exillarating! She also has her dental work done w/o pain killers cause she doesn't like the "numb" feeling!. I say epidurals were created for a reason! We should use them!! So it shouldn't surprise me that I would feel differently about my children leaving home. For 24 years I've embraced the fact that I pretty much exist for other people. (which is fine, I chose this job!:) But now, after all the sleepness nights, stretchmarks, diaper changes, birthday parties, late night talks, getting "sloshed" together, tying their shoes, doing their hair, waiting up for them, re-making prom dresses, is it just over?
Can I survive the adjustment when after 24 years in this mindset, some of the very people I existed for, are no longer there? Can you tell I'm feeling a little useless? Not un-needed mind you, I know they'll always need me (at least financially) but seriously, this is weird! And now I'm officially old (youngest almost done w/elementary school) and falling apart and I now only have "The Change" to look forward to...any day now!!! It's a good thing I have blogging to fill up my time!:) Not that the other 3 children I still exist for are not going to keep me busy. In fact the older I get, it's harder to keep up with everything so maybe it's a good thing they leave us as we're running out of steam! That's it! I'll just try to focus on the positive!? .....Maybe in a week.
7 comments:
I feel for you Sister Ellsworth. I miss Amy Spencer and Hayden very much. I was just telling Amy that a couple has just moved in next door to us but that no one could ever replaced them. We can hardly wait until they come down for thanksgiving. They were the best next door neighbor and friends. Jack can't even hang out with Hayden until they get older. Its very sad to see such amazing friends having to move on with their lives. If I had it my way I would have kept them here next to us forever. Getting to Amy and Spencer was the best thing ever. There like the brother and sister we never had and wanted.
Oh Sistah....we need to do lunch! My sentiments exactly.
Hina, you know I feel your pain! and Marci-I'll be needing all the diversions I can get starting next week! Seriously!
Aww...i knew this post would be sad as soon as i read the title. that is the saddest part of the movie... i never realized how hard it was for moms to let their kids grow up. you put it very well. i can definitely understand what you're feeling. i'm sorry. it must be hard. you have amazing kids who have accomplished many great things. much of it in due to their wonderful mother!!
ps- i just realized how beautiful you look in your profile picture.
Karen Marsh is having a hard time leaving Hannah at BYU. I told her about your blog and your recent post. So she wants to be able to get on. Her email is
komarsh@cox.net
I have also talked her into doing a blog. I am going to help her get started this week. If you could add her, that would be wonderful. She needs someone to commiserate with...we need to add her to our lunch date.
Let me know when you add her and I will let her know. Thanks!
That sounds great Marci, I'll invite her right away!
And Thanks Niki, you are way too nice, but thanks:)
I'm sorry mom! I knew you were sad but this just makes me want to cry!
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